Zoos, Rivers and Giant Mushrooms in Ubon Ratchathani

In which I photo dump a whole bunch of pics from our second weekend in Thailand to show that we actually did things besides getting mauled by children.

Overnight Stay at the International Forest Monastery

Part of me wonders if I'm needlessly keeping myself in a cycle of blues and melancholy by continuing to reflect in this blog but the other part of me finds it somewhat therapeutic to get everything down. To use a (really bad) analogy, it's kind of like downloading all your photos onto your laptop before you erase them from your phone in order to make room for new ones. Not that I want to wipe away all my memories of Thailand, of course, but as the ever-reasonable Jess and Othilia keep telling me, it's about learning how to appreciate the experiences you had instead of lingering on its absence.

Previous posts about Thailand:

• Arrival in Thailand
• A Month in Thailand: Official Business
• A FanTHAIstic Adventure
• Teaching in Ubon Ratchathani Province 
• Teaching in Ubon: Part II
• Missing Thailand: Post Travel Depression
• Living in Ubon: Food Pics, Mafia, Karaoke and Movie Nights 

Definitely a staged photo. We were a lot more... antsy...during "real" meditation. 

Anyway, in today's post, I want to talk about the meditation retreat all the ATYAPers went on during the weekend after our first week of teaching. I posted a little something about it on instagram but that didn't even cover half of it. Also, sorry to disappoint if you were expecting photos to carry you through the text but they basically confiscated our phones while we were at the monastery so...

Before we begin, let me just give you a bit of a backgrounder on myself and religion. My family is Buddhist so in a sense, I guess I have also been raised as one. But apart from going through the motions zombie-like and occasionally being dragged to temples, like a lot of other Aus-born Asian kids, I have had very little exposure and experience with the religion. It's shameful but before the retreat, I didn't know the first thing about Buddhism. I didn't understand its teachings, its core values - heck, I didn't even know Buddha wasn't an actual god.

 So combine my embarrassing lack of religious knowledge with the fact that the Thai Forest Tradition of Buddhism is one of the most hard-core branches out there and what do you get? The biggest learning curve of a weekend anybody has ever experienced.

We all got up pretty early on Saturday and left the hotel for the monastery, which was a 40 minute drive away. Wat Pah Nanachat was the name of the monastery and boy do they take the whole "forest" thing literally. The whole area lies separate from any other sort of civilisation but as a result, there's a sort of serenity and peacefulness about the whole thing that makes it feel like you've stepped into a place that's so much bigger than yourself.

Here are the rules that we had to abide by during our overnight stay:

• Avoid using any forms of technology
• Always wear appropriate clothing: girls must be respectfully covered up (everything below knee length, no shoulders or cleavage, tie your hair up, no make-up, jewellery, etc). So basically, dress like your mum and not a 20-year old university student and you should be fine.
• Be quiet at all times. The monks are exceptionally good at this, walking through heavily forested areas with such grace and dignity whilst the rest of us kind of just lumbered through like a herd of pregnant elephants.
• Avoid contact between the opposite sexes. Don't even stand too close to one another!
• Don't touch the monks! Ever! Not even accidentally! Especially the girls. (If this didn't give me the biggest case of anxiety, I don't know what did). 
• Avoid eye contact with the monks. Bow your head respectfully when they walk past.
• No food throughout the day except for one meal in the morning. You can drink water though. 
• Don't point your feet at the Buddha statue. In Thai culture, the head is considered the most sacred part of the body whilst the feet are the lowest. So pointing your feet at the Buddha is a sign of great disrespect.  
• Be mindful when carrying out every single action. E.g. eat with mindfulness, walk with mindfulness - don't step on living things, including ants or any other type of insect. 
• Try not to use toilet paper when going to the toilet (no really, this is what the signs kept instructing us to do)

Plus a whole bunch of other things which I couldn't keep track of and as a result, kept getting lectured on by the ninja nun (thus named because of her tendency to be everywhere at once. I'm sure she was just looking out for us and making sure we truly understood the values of the monastery but man, was she harsh).

So while we were at the monastery, we were basically living as the monks do including taking part in their everyday routine of chanting, praying and meditating. This was all part of our cultural education and it was also hoped that the meditation would do us good after an intense week of being mobbed by little Thai children. 

I honestly didn't mind the chanting and also the talks we got from the monks about Buddhist teachings. In fact, I probably learnt a lot more about Buddhism from those talks than the last 10 years combined (mum would be proud). But meditation was a whole other story. Not sure if you know this but the Cynthia brain has two main modes of function: hyperactivity and sleepiness. Both of these modes are not conducive to 1 and half hour meditation blocks in which you are mostly expected to stay still in the same spot. 

The communal dining area at the Wat Pah Nanachat International Forest Monastery

Our legs would cramp from being in the same position for so long; people would shuffle, cough and sneeze; you'd be all too aware of said shuffling, coughing and sneezing that you'd give up all hope of emptying your mind; you couldn't stretch out your legs because the position would inconveniently mean pointing your feet at the Buddha (which, as I said before, is a cultural no-no), mosquitos would treat you like an all-you-can-eat buffet (and you couldn't even harm the damn things) and worst of all, you'd constantly be plagued by extreme sleepiness. 

I can't even express how difficult it was to stay awake during those meditation sessions. Our heads would droop and all around you, there'd be ATYAPers rocking unsteadily in their battles with intense drowsiness. It didn't help that in the week prior, we'd either been staying up late to lesson plan or hang-out, so energy levels were already at a record low. And it's not like you could just give in and catch a few z's because the monks would be facing you at all times and it would just look worse than it already did. 

And there was a lot of meditation, guys. One of the famous sayings the monks have is: If you can still breathe, you can still meditate. We would meditate at least two or three times a day. The worst was when we had to get up at 3am to do morning meditation in the freezing cold. It was pitch black when we got out of our lodgings, we were all huddled in our blankets and had to stumble our way to the grand hall. 

The best part? When morning meditation wrapped up, it was only 5am so we were expecting to be able to go back for an extra nap or two. Nope. Ninja nun found us, handed the girls some brooms and told us to sweep. Sweep what, you might ask? The pavement? The mess hall? No. She told us to sweep the forest floor. In the pitch black, with more leaves falling from above than you managed to clean below. And that's not even the best part. She told my friend, a Thai speaker, to sweep but "not to sweep too hard because there are snakes and geckos on the floor". 

Meditation aside though, I have to admit that the rest of the retreat was definitely worthwhile and taught me more than a thing or two about Buddhism, especially the session where we got to have a Q&A with some of the monks. (Random anecdote: but during this session, one of the ATYAPers asked a monk if he'd ever watched Avatar the Last Airbender and it was kind of the most hilarious thing ever). I'm not going to bore you here with the details of what I learnt, especially since we all come from different religious backgrounds, but I will say that everything I've been forced to do over the last few years definitely made a lot more sense. And it must've made some sort of an impression on me if I willingly picked up one of these books at the end of the experience and brought it back to Sydney. 

Living in Ubon: Food Pics, Mafia, Karaoke and Movie Nights

Of all the things I've missed about ATYAP, communal or dormitory-style living would have to be the highest thing on the list. Sure I miss the 35 baht pad thai (< $2 AUD), the 7/11 Thai milk tea and like, the world famous sights and stuff, but nothing really beats knowing that if you're bored or lonely, all you have to do is walk across the hallway and knock on someone's door. I've already mentioned this a couple of times but because I am who I am (and a topic isn't exhausted until I've uploaded twenty photos and churned out 1,500 words), I'm going to write a blog post about living in Ubon Ratchathani  #sorrynotsorry. I'll try to chuck in a couple of food pics to keep you happy.

Missing Thailand: Post Travel Depression

It's been almost four days since I got back from Thailand and I am not coping very well. Sorry, biggest understatement of my life; I am not coping. Period. Everyday routine and functions take so much energy out of me. My suitcase is still lying in the corner, half-unpacked, I've barely gotten out of the house except to work and Facebook, with its constant stream of ATYAP photos has (sadly) become my closest friend.

Fuck. Just reading this makes me want to give myself a giant smack in the head. I know I shouldn't be wallowing. I don't have the right to sit here and mope about the ATYAP experience coming to an end because well, I was lucky enough to even get the experience in the first place. And this is why I'm writing a post instead of confiding in other people - because I can already imagine their metaphorical eye rolls and justified lack of interest. But even knowing all this doesn't stop me from curling into a ball on the couch and trying to pretend I'm anywhere but here.

Photo credit: Thomas Da Jose

I knew coming back wouldn't be easy. When I left, it felt a little bit like running away. I'd wrapped up my internship only a week earlier, with zero idea of what I'd do afterwards, I'd rushed the lesson preparation for my substitute at tutoring and I'd pushed any thoughts of uni right out of my mind. Basically, I was all "I'm gonna deal with this shit afterwards". Well it is now "afterwards" and the situation at work has changed, all the good internships have been snapped up and what I'm studying at uni no longer feels sufficient or rewarding-enough after the last 4 weeks in Thailand. I'm feeling swamped, lost and depressed and a (very) small part of me wishes I could do a mental brainwash a la Peeta in Mockingjay and just forget about all the good stuff so I can move on.

I went through a similar period of dissatisfaction after coming back from Korea. I wrote (and this is an exact quote):

You can't help but feel like you've left something important behind. And I was only away for ten days. What's going to happen when I leave Australia for a year?

Well this time, I was gone for an entire month. And the post-travel depression has been amplified twenty times over due to the nature of my trip. I set off from Sydney with 35 strangers and a month later, I landed back here with a family. I'd grown used to the constant presence and company of these beautiful, hilarious and inspiring humans. We'd taught together, lived together, karaoke-d together, mafia-d together and struggled uncoordinatedly together through the painful but fun torture that is Thai Dancing. When we were bored, we'd knock on each other's doors (which were right next to each other). There was always someone or a group to go to the night markets with you or someone who'd lend you a bucket when you had to do your laundry.

Photo credit: Samithy Heng

Photo credit: Sharon Ung

Now it's too quiet. And even though the majority of us live in Sydney, nothing's the same. I remember doing TBL and thinking that nothing could ever break the bonds we formed on the road trip. And I suppose some friendships have endured but at the same time, we were definitely not as close as we were 6 months ago. (This probably explains why, on the very last night in Bangkok, after coming back from some fun times on Khaosan road, I went around telling my ATYAP family "I'l never see you ever again").

I had such an immersive experience in Thailand as well. Before all the touristy stuff happened in Bangkok, we were practically living and working in Ubon Ratchathani. We had a routine and even though, at times it exhausted me so much I could barely drag myself out of bed to get down to breakfast, it was fulfilling in a way nothing else ever was. If we didn't live in the world we live in, if money wasn't an issue, if I didn't have to worry about what I'd be doing in 5 years time, I would have stayed in Ubon and taught for another 6 months as Teacher Cindeeyah from Australia.

Me and my shadow, Mac, who I mentioned in the previous post. Turns out that the awesome Sharon Ung managed to get a photo!

It's been a rough few days guys. Hasn't helped that for the majority of the time, I've been hermit-crabbing in my house, too emotionally exhausted to face the real world despite knowing that the only way to get over this is to see people and do things. Maybe I'll be fine in another week or two. I really hope so because university's about to start and at this point in time, I am in no state to do anything, let alone sit in 2 hour tutorials about communication theory.

Teaching in Ubon: Part II

It wasn't possible to get to know all 300+ of my kids at Ubon Witiya Khom but a couple of cheeky faces stood out to me during my time there. In class 3/9, there was Lord and his gang. Lord is a little Filipino boy whose parents are actually both teachers at Ubon Wit. As a result, his English is pretty spot on and the other kids in the class can often be found gathered around his desk copying off his worksheet. He's sitting right behind the teacher in the photo below. I only found out his parents worked at the school after I pointed him out to another teacher and asked how this kid managed to become so proficient at English.

Previous Thailand Posts:

• Arrival in Thailand
• A Month in Thailand: Official Business
• A FanTHAIstic Adventure
• Teaching in Ubon Ratchathani Province 

There was Beem and her posse - a group of cute little girls who kept trying to hug me while I was teaching. They could be super angelic when they chose to be but there were times when they were downright terrifying, roaring at the other kids to shut up. And god were they persistent - on the last day they wouldn't let me leave the room until I'd given them my Facebook name.





There were kids whose faces I recognised because they were either incredibly naughty or had done something unintentionally hilarious. I had a kid in one class who I nicknamed "Gropy Kid". Enough said.

And of course, there was Music (yes, his official nickname was actually Music). The best way to describe Music is to imagine a firecracker disguised as a tiny little nine-year-old kid. He was probably the smallest kid in his grade but holy crap was he active. I think he was allergic to his chair or something because I never once saw him sit down in it. You'd be trying to teach the class and from the corner of your eye, you'd see this kid sidling up to his friend, poke him in the face and then run to the back of the classroom. He had this little owl-shaped side bag which he wore every minute of the day and when he ran, it looked like a little bird flapping alongside him. And he liked to dance on the desks when he thought you weren't watching. I think that's how he got his name. I wanted to bring him back with me. Pretty sure he was small enough to fit in my suitcase.

On the last week of teaching, my team and I ran English camp for the school. So instead of being in the regular classroom setting, we had a station rotating system with each of us teaching a specific area such as numbers, conversation, phonics, etc. I did numbers and it was basically a chance for me to play heaps of outdoor games whilst trying to familiarise the kids with English numbers. Not gonna lie, it was exhausting work - being out in the sun for 7 hours every day for the entire week, talking into a microphone for the majority of the time. But it was also so much fun, especially when you split the girls and boys up and pit them against one another.



Oh and before I forget, we made fairy bread for 900 kids on Australia Day. We did it the night before in the hotel's conference room and almost ran out of hundreds and thousands so had to resort to sprinkles. It wasn't the same but the kids still loved it. Or maybe they were just being polite.



Our last day at Ubon Wit was one of the most memorable days of the trip. We gave a short speech at morning assembly (which probably only the foreign teachers understood), publicly embarrassed ourselves by singing the "We Are One" song to the entire school without any backing and presented the teachers with gifts. Afterwards, we visited the music room and the students taught us how to play on Thai instruments. Then we had an spontaneous jam sesh and dance party.

Afterwards, the school gave us a farewell ceremony which all the senior teachers attended. There was a massive lunch and traditional ceremony where the school brought in a holy man to bless some white string bracelets for us. I'm not entirely sure but I think the intention behind this is to wish us well for the future and ensure we stay safe for the rest of the trip.

Then there were more performances and the School Director gave us an impromptu karaoke performance. That's him in the background holding yellow flowers. What a cutie.

We said goodbye to the kids, distributed koala bears to the teachers and took lots of photos. The kids were so sweet and kept seeking us out to give us flowers and stickers. Even now, I can't bear to remove any of them from my green polo shirt (even though the shirt stanks and needs a thorough washing)

Photo credit: A random little girl who took it perfectly on the first go

I miss them all. 

Teaching in Ubon Ratchathani Province

Source: Official facebook page of ATYAP

When I first heard of the ATYAP program and its three weeks of voluntary teaching at Thai schools, I thought of small, under-resourced, rurally-located schools with students of barely any English knowledge. I mean, at the team meetings, they told us that some kids couldn't even afford socks to wear to school. Whilst some ATYAPers did end up teaching at severely impoverished schools, I can't say that was the case at Ubon Witiya Khom.

Previous Thailand posts:

• Arrival in Thailand
• A Month in Thailand: Official Business
• A FanTHAIstic Adventure

Bruh, that's a helluva lotta students. 2,400 to be exact. 

The kids at my school had socks. They also had microphones in most classrooms, some smart projectors, computer rooms, two giant fields for sports, a marching school band and a school cafeteria the size of the Rod Laver arena. I'm not even kidding.

Just look at the size of this thing. Lunchtime is utter chaos.

But considering the number of students that the school was accommodating for, there was no such thing as too big. 

Each grade had around 300 students which were divided into 9 classes per grade (approximately 40 students in each classroom). In Australia, it's illegal to have more than 30 students per class but clearly, class sizes of that scale weren't possible at Ubon Wit (even with more than 100 teachers on staff). 

Teacher Roanna teaching the "We Are One" song at English Camp

One thing you should know about Thai people and Thai culture in general is that they are very very welcoming and generous towards guests. I remember vividly our first day at the school. A ceremony was conducted for us at the morning assembly where we were introduced to all 2,400 of the students. We then moved to the meeting room where the students put on traditional performances for us ranging from Thai dancing to live music. 

Honestly, by the end of the official welcome, I was a gazillion times more nervous than before due to the pressure of feeling like we needed to deliver something amazing for the welcome we were getting. I almost wanted to apologise for being an unqualified, young university student. Oh, and also for being Asian because judging from the amount of times I was asked where I was really from, they were expecting Caucasian Australians. Pro-tip for future ATYAPers: be prepared to explain your family's migration history at least 30 times if you aren't Caucasian in appearance.

Source: Official Facebook page of ATYAP

School in Thailand starts at 8:15 am but students are usually there earlier. At exactly 8 am, the King's song comes on over the speakers and everybody, young and old must immediately stop what they are doing to pay respect to the King. The first time it happened, we (the ATYAP teaching team) had no idea what we were expected to do. It was only after the School Director stood up and cleared his throat that we got his hint and stood up as well. This was probably the first in a long line of cultural gaffes we were destined to make at Ubon Wit. 

There is morning assembly every morning at 8:15 am and despite seeing it with my own eyes five times a week for three weeks in a row, I will never get over how incredible a sight it is to see 2,400 students lined up in military precision on the football field. I took so many photos of this that the cleaning app on my Samsung SIII would remind me to delete duplicate photos off my phone at least twice a day.

At the morning assembly, students are led through a morning prayer by the school leaders, sing the national anthem and perform the school chant. Then, depending on what day it is, either do some morning aerobics, Muai Thai routine, the scout's salute or Thai dancing. I firmly believe that the school took perverse joy in seeing their Australian guests embarrass themselves by fumbling through the Muai Thai and Thai dancing routines since they made us stand at the very front to participate. Cultivating teacher's respect is a lot harder when your kids have seen you punch yourself in the nose whilst trying to execute one of the more advanced Muai Thai moves. 

Uniforms also change depending on the day. On Mondays, more senior teachers have to wear the official yellow uniform of the government. Tuesdays are the standard uniform, Wednesdays are PE clothes (on Wednesdays we wear trackies), Thursdays are scout and Fridays are standard. Can I also take this moment to point out that the scouts uniform is seriously the cutest thing that has ever existed on the planet because they've got these little striped caps and neckties and teensy little pins which you have to keep straightening because they get all wonky when the kids run around and their shoes are ll polished and the boys have their shirts tucked in but there's always little folds of white which keep escaping from the back because they can't reach and..... *digresses into incomprehensible blabber due to unmanageable levels of cuteness*

Ack! Don't you just want to pick them up and give them lots of hugs??

Speaking of scouts, there was one day where I rocked up to school with all my lesson plans prepared and then the Year 3 teacher approached me and told me that the kids were going on excursion for the day to the park. So off I went and it turned out to be a little scouts day thing where the kids did station rotations, chanted some rules concerning behaviours and safety, performed funny little dances, visited the temple and had a mini presentation assembly where they were given their scouts hats. It was such a fun day. 

This was also the day that I acquired my "Shadows". Their names were Mac, Nat and Fifa and they followed me everywhere gabbering away in Thai even though I told them I only understood English. Mac kept holding onto my hand possessively and shooing the other kids away when they tried to do it too. He pointed to his best friend and told me that the kid's name was also Mac. He then proudly pointed to himself and said Mac 1 before pointing to the other kid and saying Mac 2 and he seemed so happy that he had managed to communicate this that he kept giving me this gap-toothed grin that I couldn't help but grin back and I seriously just wanted to bring him and his little gang back to Australia with me and spoil them with tim tams and excursions to the zoo and .... *digresses once again into a bout of incomprehensible blabber due to unmanageable levels of cuteness*

Teaching was a lot different from what I expected. For one, I was expecting to get across a lot more content. But this was before we found out the size of our school and that we would only get the same class maximum twice a week. Since there were seven of us at this particular school (Roanna, Sharon, Austrie, Darren, Kimmi, Hwei-See and I), we each assigned ourselves a grade and had to run all the classes for that grade. We would occasionally jump into each other's classes if we had the time. The limited three weeks period meant we could only touch on phonics, Australian culture and bits of conversation. It wasn't enough for us to drastically improve their spoken English but I guess the point of us being there was for them to get some exposure to an native English speaker so that they would at least have the motivation to continue studying it. 

Oh and can I just add that shit son, classroom management for a class of 40 year 3's is freakin' difficult without any assistance; especially when the kids are hyperactive, demon monkeys with tendencies to climb on you disguised as cheeky little nine year olds. I have gained so much respect for primary school teachers as a result of my time at Ubon Wit. WHERE DO YOU GET THE ENERGY / MENTAL STABILITY TO DO THIS FULL TIME LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW?! Not even monks have this much patience. 

On that note, I'm just gonna wrap up here since all this school stuff is taking a lot longer than I thought it would. I've still got a lot of ground to cover such as the night we made fairy bread for 900 kids, running English camp and our epic last day at Ubon Witiya Khom. I'm not blogging with as much humour and sarcasm as I usually do but to be honest, it's been a rough day leaving Thailand behind and all that and I'm still in this weird sort of denial bubble where I keep expecting an ATYAPer to knock on my door to ask if I'm up for the markets tonight. It was a whole month guys and I just feel really lost and confused about what's next. 

Next up: More teaching and then what I did when I wasn't teaching

A FanTHAIstic Adventure

I'm now facing the awkward situation of explaining why there is a ONE MONTH gap between this and the last post I did on Thailand after having been so keen to document my ATYAP (Australian Thai Youth Ambassador Program) adventures. For reals, I only got about the first two days of the trip - before any of the real fun even started - and then just abandoned the entire blogging venture with zesty enthusiasm. I'm sorry. Wait, no I'm not. Looking back, I think I made the right decision because it was only then that I really could embrace the experience wholeheartedly. I've always been the type to inhale my food rather than savor it. It stands to reason that that same attitude would carry over to my blogging style.

Previous Thailand Posts:

• Arrival in Thailand
• A Month in Thailand: Official Business

Plus, when faced with the prospect of free time in Thailand with a large bunch of fun-loving, adventurous university students, would you rather a) hole yourself up in the hotel room to do some blogging or b) get out there and see what Thailand has to offer in terms of food, culture and adventure?

Only complete nincompoops would choose Option A yas?

Alright, good, awesome. I reckon that's enough explaining myself. NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THAILAND Y'ALL.

Maybe it's a good thing that I left the blogging till after the trip because I think I've got a clearer picture of how to set out these blog posts. Looking back, I would say our adventures fell into two distinct blocks:

1. A three week block of teaching in the province of Ubon Ratchathani with nights spent going to the markets or hanging out as an ATYAP family 
2. A jam-packed week of ambassadorial activities in Bangkok combined with your typical touristy things

There were also other little day trips or overnight retreats sprinkled throughout such as the two days we spent meditating at the International Forest Monastery or one-day adventure through Ubon which I might also dedicate one-off posts to. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you probably already have a bit of an idea of what I got up to (I'm so sorry for the photo spam guys - I tried to limit myself, I really did). I guess that's partly why I felt okay with abandoning my blog. It was just easier to update people on other social media and as I'm always saying anyway, the blog is mostly just a record for posterity.

Source: Official Facebook page for the Australian Thai Youth Ambassador Program

I might stop here and dedicate separate posts to the different aspects of the trip because I'm mildly OCD and like categorising things. Before I sign off though, I just wanted to say with one hundred percent sincerity and earnestness that ATYAP truly was THE BEST experience I have had in my 20 years of living. The things I saw, did and felt during my month in Thailand changed my entire perspective and understanding of myself and the future. I met so many wonderful, beautiful people and I honestly think that part of me will be forever saddened by the fact that it is over and we will never get to re-experience any of it.

Uggh I'm depressing the fuck out of myself just by writing this. Let's move on guys and get to the fun stuff. I'll have enough time to reflect in the very last post I do on ATYAP.

Next up: Teaching in Ubon Ratchathani and the joys of living with 34 other university students