Odds & Ends #3

My new neighbour speaks French

He's a tall, lanky, 16-year-old Asian boy with glasses....but he speaks French. We found him wandering around outside our townhouse with the neighbourhood nuisance (otherwise known as Kane Toad) so we took pity on him, sat him down and had a nice chat. He's proficient in like, a million languages but his top three are French, English and Cantonese. He's most comfortable speaking French though so we (my sister and I) are planning to use him as our own personal dictionary. We've tested out a few phrases on him (Bon bon le fromage baguette escargot tapis volant ca va?) but we can't get him to stop laughing long enough to give us some feedback on our pronunciation.

Turns out Alex (that's his name) has been taken in by my Aunty. He's moved here without his family and if all goes well with his visa, he'll be studying at the high school I went to. I'm still trying to wrap my head around his questionable life choices but hey, it's not like I'm one to judge. I told him that if he speaks French to the students and teachers there, he'll be guaranteed instant popularity.

Good kid. I hope he doesn't get too lonely.

I caught up with Othilia on Friday Night

We hung out at Strathfield after work at 9:30pm on Friday night and bitched about people over tteokbokki (Korean spicy rice cakes).

I'd never realised but the texture of Korean food is so fucking weird. They've got everything from chewy, glutinous rice cakes and soggy kimchi to grainy sweet potato mash and slimy cubed whatever-the-hell-that-is. Everything is fermented but for some strange reason, it all works. I need to eat out at Strathfield more.

It was Mik's birthday on Monday

I met Mik (or Michaela) this year at university and because we do the exact same course (Public Relations AND Chinese majors), we've gotten to be really close. It was her birthday on Monday and she wasn't in class because of work so we called her during the Chinese seminar and got the whole class to sing "Happy Birthday" in Chinese.

She also celebrated with a dinner at Chiswick in Woollahra (a Matt Moran-owned restaurant) and I blew all my savings on the fanciest meal I've had in ages. So worth it though.

Mandarin, passionfruit pavlova, blood orange sorbet 

Main: Paccheri pasta, spanner crab, snow peas / Sides: Steamed greens, chilli, garlic, lemon & Hand cut chips with black garlic aoli

If you're reading this Mik, once again, Happy Birthday!

Keira Knightley Sings (Surprisingly Well)

This is kind of my jam at the moment. I like it so much more than the Adam Levine version. Her voice has that purity so well-suited to acoustic indie-folk music. In fact, I'm kind of just in love with everything she sang in Begin Again. 

The movie itself was pretty good. It's about a disillusioned music executive (Mark Ruffalo) who meets a songwriter (Keira Knightley) and in order to get over their respective miseries, they work together to produce an album in New York. It also stars Adam Levine, Hailee Steinfeld and CeeLo Green. 

Check out this other song from the soundtrack:

I'm still sticking to my pilates exercise regime

And it's bloody killing me. I would rather do two hours of cardio or kickboxing or goddamn running instead of an hour of pilates. But since I've started this, I'm going to stubbornly stick to it until it kills me (or my motivation dries up). I love Cassie from Blogilates but when you've been holding plank position for five minutes and instead of letting you up, she tells you to pulse for another two minutes, you kind of just want to punch her in the face.

I'm turning 20 on Sunday

And I'm taking four classes at tutoring on that day. Somebody come visit me :(

Hyping Myself Up for Korea #1: Music!

Hello. Have I told you that I'm going to South Korea? I have? Only about 700 million times? Oh, well let me remind you anyway.

So Korea is happening in 2 weeks, 4 days, 12 hours and 35 minutes. I'm excited. Just a little bit, I mean. But I could definitely use a bit more hype. So, in celebration of the upcoming trip, I'm going to be doing a series of posts about all the things I like about this strange, wonderful country - starting with music!

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Hey no, don't you dare leave, buddy. I see your eyes wondering to the close button of this page - don't even think about it. I put a lot of effort into compiling this list of my top favourite Korean music tracks. What if I promise not to include any K-pop? Would you stay then? Yes? Okay! Asa (great)!

Note: These aren't in any particular order. AKA no. 1 is not necessarily my favourite. Although it could be. But I'm not saying it is so don't assume anything. Yeah?

Song: "In the Air" by Loveholics
Genre: Ballad

Okay well this is kind of embarassing but I don't actually know what the name of the song is. It could be "In the Air" or it could be "Pain". It could even be "Beautiful Lady Goes Flying Through the Air in Slow Motion Whilst Angsty Man Engages in Self-Immolation" but I don't know because I can't read Korean. And if you've been following my blogs since 2009, you have probably seen this video once, twice or 200 million times before. 

Song: "Bad" by Tablo

Genre: Alternative Hip Hop(?) / Electronic

Regardless of how much brooding goes on in this video, this still does not fall under the category of K-pop. I refuse to allow it. Embarrassing fact: I liked this song so much that I once attempted to learn the lyrics to it so I could sing it. Didn't work out well because a) I can't rap and b) I can't speak/read Korean. Urgh. Darn it all. I was born the wrong type of Asian.

P.S. If you like Tablo, make sure to check out his other songs. Everything he touches or sneezes on turns into gold. 

Song: "4 am" by 10cm
Genre: K-Indie / Acoustic

The song is called "4 am" and the band is "10cm". Yeah I know, it's strange. Why "10cm" you have to wonder? Whoever thought of that clearly did not consider the marketing side of things. Nevertheless, it is a very catchy tune that seems like something you'd hear at a chill cafe in Seoul.

Song: "Cherry Blossom Ending" by Busker Busker

Genre: K-indie / Acoustic

If you don't mind a bit of fluff and sweetness, Busker Busker is the way to go. I love the dreamy, summery quality of this particular song. It makes me want to go on a roadtrip across Korea. Plus the video's got rabbits in it. You can't go wrong with rabbits! 

Song: "Sweet Dreams" by MFBTY
Genre: Hip Hop / Dance

MFBTY is the band's name and it stands for Miss Fat Booty. Just kidding. It actually doesn't but I like "Miss Fat Booty" much more. Interesting fact but the female singer and male rapper are actually married in real life. Must be awkward for the third guy of the group then eh? I also really love the effects in this video.

Song: "Fxxk U" by Ga-In
Genre: Funk / R&B

I wrote a whole blog post about this recently and how much I admire Ga-In for taking on a song about domestic violence. So instead of rehashing everything, I'll link the post here and you can just (re)watch the video. Also I know the subject matter is serious but I challenge you not to laugh during the "Fuck yous" in the song. It's hard isn't it? Not sure it has the intended effect if you're an English-speaker.



Song: "Not Spring, Love or Cherry Blossoms" by IU ft. HIGH4
Genre: K-pop

OKAY I LIED. THERE IS K-POP. I'M SORRY DON'T HURT ME. But I just really like IU's voice okay? You can't really tell in this song but I reckon she's one of Korea's better vocalists. I feel like she could carry this song by herself. HIGH4 or whoever the fuck they are kind of annoy me. Your pink hair is wasting valuable screen time which could be better spent on the goddess herself.




Song: "Melted" by Akdong Musician
Genre: K-folk

I like it because it's different. It sounds a little bit haunting. They're also a brother-sister duo which makes it really refreshing. I posted the live version to show you guys that they're pretty strong vocally but if you want to see the recorded studio version (featuring White People!), click here.

 


Song: "On My Way" by Rocket Diary
Genre: K-Rock

An oldie but a goodie. One of the very first K-rock songs I ever got into. (I found it through Dramabeans). Definitely something you can listen to for a bit of a pick-me-up or motivation boost. Or when you have flashbacks to being 14, young and rebellious.

Song: "Pursuing the Happiness" by LeeSSang
Genre: Rap / Hip Hop


Despite the terrible Engrish present in the title, this is actually quite a good song. Gary's great in the Korean variety show, Running Man, but he definitely shines in his actual field of talent (rapping/music). Side note, but what is with Koreans and their greyscales/dark muted colours?


Song: "Racket" by Glen Check

Genre: K-indie / Something? Electronic?

This one's a bit of an acquired taste one and definitely not for those with a fear of cowbells. You have been warned. Also there are lots of balls in the video. By balls I mean tennis balls of course. 

Song: "Growl" by EXO

Genre: K-Pop

OKAY I LIED AGAIN I'M SORRY. But I actually do like this song. Plus since this is the last one, might as well end with a bang (or in this case, epic dance sequence). So just sit back and enjoy the over-producedness that is EXO (and well, K-pop in general). 

Honourable mentions go to: 

• Nell - my favourite Korean rock band who I also wrote a post about here. I would've included them in the list but had trouble deciding which one was my favourite song of theirs. So I gave up. 
• Urban Zakupa
• Ailee - for being another female vocal powerhouse
• K-pop - yes I know, I like to whinge and make fun of Kpop but I have to admit that I have a soft spot for a lot of K-pop bands and artists. If you went to my school and hung around the people I hung around, it was kind of inevitable. K-pop is an inexplicable phenomenon that sucks you in regardless of the fight you put up. I have to admit to liking a lot of artists under the YG label (so Big Bang, 2NE1, etc.) Also CNBLUE! Hells yes - I love me some CNBLUE (but I don't think they're YG). 

Got Canned Heat In My Heels Tonight Baby

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I love watching people dance. In fact, if it wasn't for my total lack of coordination, I'm sure I would make a pretty good dancer as well. Unfortunately my limbs never really work the way I want them to work and the best I can do is kind of gyrate a little bit on the spot. Oh wait, no. I can do a mean body roll. You should totally see my body roll.

Hmm okay, that didn't come out the way it was supposed to. 

They're gonna kill me when they see this here.

Up until I was about 12 or 13, I actually took dance lessons. Mum signed me up for these jazz classes at the local RSL and every week, I had to wear a horrible blue leotard while doing stretches and splits. If you're wondering, no, I still can't do them. What I did learn from those lessons though, was how to do something called the bridge. The bridge is an elevated body stretch that can best be described as a reverse push up. I can go into it while standing up. It's not exactly what you'd call a "neat party trick" because to be frank, it basically looks like something from the exorcist. 

Perhaps my experiences with jazz classes as a child prevented me from further pursuing dance as a (young) adult. There was something scarring about being forced into a giant monstrosity of a costume and having a blonde wig pinned to your head before being forced to dance to a really terrible 80s/90s track. The teachers at the RSL were very into their themed performances so one year, we would have to do the Wizard of Oz and the next year would be Grease. 

It didn't help that prior to jazz classes, I had to do something called Physie/Physical Culture. Now that was fucking horrible. It wasn't even dance (although they did try to pass it off as dance). Physie is all about posture and rigid movements. You could spend 10 minutes just marching around in a large rectangle and being taught how to point your toes properly and keep your chin up. The worst part wasn't the movements though. They were the competitions.

If there was a way for me to express my point about the fucked-up-ness that is "physie" without having to resort to old photos, I would do it. But there's no better way for you to understand how absolutely abhorrent I found the whole thing.  

Physie competitions are similar to those child pageants you see on American television. Little girls have their hair and makeup done, are squeezed into disgusting fluorescent leotards and quite often, have fake tan applied on them. FAKE TAN. ON LITTLE GIRLS. Like how fucked up is that? God, I didn't even realise the extent of how inappropriate it was until I started blogging about it. I had to go through the fake tanning and let me tell you, that shit was nasty. It smelt like cancer, petrol and all things horrible. Anyhow, why does a dark little Asian girl even need tan? It's not like I was a pasty child, okay? I just. What. How. Why.

Anyway, traumatic childhood experiences aside, I actually do like watching people dance (well). I guess the reason I brought all this dance stuff up was because I wanted to talk about some cool choreography I've recently seen on YouTube. Sorry, that was the most long-winded introduction ever. 

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Phew, okay after all that talk of physie and jazz, I really needed this video to restore my faith in dance. Kyle Hanagami is an amazing choreographer (and a beautiful human being) and I just love everything that he does. Above is his newest video, choreographed to Charli XCX's "Boom Clap". I really dig the whole childhood summer vibe he's got going on there and the little details (such as the switching of clothes after the time jump) just add to the general awesomeness of the vid. 

Check out this other one by Kyle Hanagami. Different style but same level of awesomeness. And how talented is Haley Fitzgerald (the redhead)? She's the girl in both videos. 

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Here's another "Yonce" one that I like. In some parts, the choreography seems a little bit similar to Kyle's version but it's got enough going for it to let it stand on its own. Girl in stripes is Fierce with a capital F. 

Bonus video here if anyone's interested. Thought since we were on the topic of Beyonce, y'all might want to check it out. Click it. It's.....different from the ones I've just shown you but no less entertaining.

The Curious Case of the Xiang Jiao Ping Guo (Banana Apple)

It all started with a strange new word in my Chinese textbook.

Sandwiched between the character for Master (Shi Fu) and Banana (Xiang Jiao), was a curious little oddity known as the "Xiangjiao Pingguo". According to the New Practical Chinese Reader 2nd Edition, the Xiangjiao Pingguo is "an apple with the taste of a banana".

An apple with the taste of a banana.

An apple with the taste of a banana. 

An apple with the taste of a fucking banana. 

Sorry for the overreaction but seriously, WHERE THE FUCK has this so-called "Banana Apple" been all my life? I mean, I don't even like bananas. (To be honest, I kind of hate them). But that's not the point. The point is that this magical freak of nature, according to my Chinese textbook, actually exists and I have never heard of it before. Has my whole life been a lie? Are there also Watermelon Grapes and Strawberry Peaches growing on trees deep in the forests of the mysterious land of China?

My teacher verified it ("yes they do exist") and Google Images also verified it so obviously it must be true.

It kind of looks like an anaemic apple...

So after getting home from university/tutoring, instead of starting my 1000 word feature article (which by the way is due this Friday), I jumped on the internet to do some more investigating - just to reassure myself that this fruit actually exists and that my Chinese teacher isn't the world's biggest troll/destroyer of dreams. 

 And then I see this. 

"It tastes like a normal apple, with a weird aftertaste. Although I'd like to say it kind of smells like a banana when you cut it....but that might just have been because I was really excited."

And this:

"They don't really taste like bananas...they look and taste like weird apples."

And so now, I'm basically this:

"Disappointed" doesn't even begin to express the depth of my emotion. God, the betrayal. It's going to be a couple of weeks before I can even look at another banana or apple again. Until then, I'm going to have to spend some time alone to regroup and rethink my purpose in life. 

Fuck you New Practical Chinese Reader (2nd Edition). Fuck you. "Award for Outstanding International Chinese Language Teaching Materials" my ass. I should sue you for emotional damages. 

Cynthia out.