Got Canned Heat In My Heels Tonight Baby

I love watching people dance. In fact, if it wasn't for my total lack of coordination, I'm sure I would make a pretty good dancer as well. Unfortunately my limbs never really work the way I want them to work and the best I can do is kind of gyrate a little bit on the spot. Oh wait, no. I can do a mean body roll. You should totally see my body roll.

Hmm okay, that didn't come out the way it was supposed to. 

They're gonna kill me when they see this here.

Up until I was about 12 or 13, I actually took dance lessons. Mum signed me up for these jazz classes at the local RSL and every week, I had to wear a horrible blue leotard while doing stretches and splits. If you're wondering, no, I still can't do them. What I did learn from those lessons though, was how to do something called the bridge. The bridge is an elevated body stretch that can best be described as a reverse push up. I can go into it while standing up. It's not exactly what you'd call a "neat party trick" because to be frank, it basically looks like something from the exorcist. 

Perhaps my experiences with jazz classes as a child prevented me from further pursuing dance as a (young) adult. There was something scarring about being forced into a giant monstrosity of a costume and having a blonde wig pinned to your head before being forced to dance to a really terrible 80s/90s track. The teachers at the RSL were very into their themed performances so one year, we would have to do the Wizard of Oz and the next year would be Grease. 

It didn't help that prior to jazz classes, I had to do something called Physie/Physical Culture. Now that was fucking horrible. It wasn't even dance (although they did try to pass it off as dance). Physie is all about posture and rigid movements. You could spend 10 minutes just marching around in a large rectangle and being taught how to point your toes properly and keep your chin up. The worst part wasn't the movements though. They were the competitions.

If there was a way for me to express my point about the fucked-up-ness that is "physie" without having to resort to old photos, I would do it. But there's no better way for you to understand how absolutely abhorrent I found the whole thing.  

Physie competitions are similar to those child pageants you see on American television. Little girls have their hair and makeup done, are squeezed into disgusting fluorescent leotards and quite often, have fake tan applied on them. FAKE TAN. ON LITTLE GIRLS. Like how fucked up is that? God, I didn't even realise the extent of how inappropriate it was until I started blogging about it. I had to go through the fake tanning and let me tell you, that shit was nasty. It smelt like cancer, petrol and all things horrible. Anyhow, why does a dark little Asian girl even need tan? It's not like I was a pasty child, okay? I just. What. How. Why.

Anyway, traumatic childhood experiences aside, I actually do like watching people dance (well). I guess the reason I brought all this dance stuff up was because I wanted to talk about some cool choreography I've recently seen on YouTube. Sorry, that was the most long-winded introduction ever. 

Phew, okay after all that talk of physie and jazz, I really needed this video to restore my faith in dance. Kyle Hanagami is an amazing choreographer (and a beautiful human being) and I just love everything that he does. Above is his newest video, choreographed to Charli XCX's "Boom Clap". I really dig the whole childhood summer vibe he's got going on there and the little details (such as the switching of clothes after the time jump) just add to the general awesomeness of the vid. 

Check out this other one by Kyle Hanagami. Different style but same level of awesomeness. And how talented is Haley Fitzgerald (the redhead)? She's the girl in both videos. 

Here's another "Yonce" one that I like. In some parts, the choreography seems a little bit similar to Kyle's version but it's got enough going for it to let it stand on its own. Girl in stripes is Fierce with a capital F. 

Bonus video here if anyone's interested. Thought since we were on the topic of Beyonce, y'all might want to check it out. Click it. It's.....different from the ones I've just shown you but no less entertaining.

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