The Curious Case of the Xiang Jiao Ping Guo (Banana Apple)

It all started with a strange new word in my Chinese textbook.


Sandwiched between the character for Master (Shi Fu) and Banana (Xiang Jiao), was a curious little oddity known as the "Xiangjiao Pingguo". According to the New Practical Chinese Reader 2nd Edition, the Xiangjiao Pingguo is "an apple with the taste of a banana".


An apple with the taste of a banana.

An apple with the taste of a banana. 

An apple with the taste of a fucking banana. 



Sorry for the overreaction but seriously, WHERE THE FUCK has this so-called "Banana Apple" been all my life? I mean, I don't even like bananas. (To be honest, I kind of hate them). But that's not the point. The point is that this magical freak of nature, according to my Chinese textbook, actually exists and I have never heard of it before. Has my whole life been a lie? Are there also Watermelon Grapes and Strawberry Peaches growing on trees deep in the forests of the mysterious land of China?

My teacher verified it ("yes they do exist") and Google Images also verified it so obviously it must be true.


It kind of looks like an anaemic apple...

So after getting home from university/tutoring, instead of starting my 1000 word feature article (which by the way is due this Friday), I jumped on the internet to do some more investigating - just to reassure myself that this fruit actually exists and that my Chinese teacher isn't the world's biggest troll/destroyer of dreams. 

 And then I see this

"It tastes like a normal apple, with a weird aftertaste. Although I'd like to say it kind of smells like a banana when you cut it....but that might just have been because I was really excited."

And this:

"They don't really taste like bananas...they look and taste like weird apples."

And so now, I'm basically this:


"Disappointed" doesn't even begin to express the depth of my emotion. God, the betrayal. It's going to be a couple of weeks before I can even look at another banana or apple again. Until then, I'm going to have to spend some time alone to regroup and rethink my purpose in life. 

Fuck you New Practical Chinese Reader (2nd Edition). Fuck you. "Award for Outstanding International Chinese Language Teaching Materials" my ass. I should sue you for emotional damages. 

Cynthia out. 



3 comments:

  1. Have the same textbook. Thanks 4 the research its quite disappointing the leak of "promised taste"

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have the same book me too: so it's fake! Ahahahahahahah! Thanks:-*lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. look up "Winter Banana" apple variety. They are most aromatic after some storage time.
    Tree full of ripe Winter Banana" apples smells like bananas from across orchard!

    ReplyDelete

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