A Year In Review: What I Learnt in 2015



Hello, it's me.

I've been trying to write this post since early December but have struggled so hard to put into words what I want to say.

Basically, 2015 was a weird year for me.

It was weird in the sense that I felt like I was in limbo the entire time, neither moving forwards towards a definable goal nor slipping backwards into the withdrawn anti-social high-school version of myself. Oftentimes, I'd feel like I was watching myself from a distance - going to work, attending events, interacting with people - just going the motions of Being Cynthia. But it just felt weird and off and forced and I can't explain it.

I keep telling people it was because I started the year off on such a high with the Thailand trip. (Side note: ATYAP was amazing but it needs to come with a warning label informing people of the apathy towards life that it makes you feel post-trip). And it is mostly true. In Thailand, I felt alive and I felt driven. Then I came back and it was like someone had told me "Jokes, you're actually a Muggle!" after I'd spent an entire year at Hogwarts.

But the weirdness might've also been due to 2015 being a bit of a letdown after the amazing year I'd had in 2014. Last year, I'd tried so many new things and met so many new people - it'd kind of overshadowed a whole bunch of unpleasant thoughts about my future and its woeful lack of direction. This year made me confront this fact again. And it was...not great.


It wasn't all bad though. I spent most of the year working and even though it meant I had less time to do the things I wanted to do, I did get the chance to work in one of the greatest and friendliest teams in my job at The Co-op.

I also went to Tasmania for the first time and saw one of my cousins get married, went on BSS camp, took a trip down to Melbourne and had one of the best 21sts anyone could wish for. I am grateful and lucky and I really should learn to appreciate this year more.

So to recap, what are some of the main things I've taken away from 2015?

1. Be grateful for the people in your life now

Because new people will come into your life and others will drift away and that's normal. Of course, you should make an effort to stay in touch with people but with some, it can be an effort in futility and you'll end up exhausting no-one but yourself. So make the most of now and don't take it too personally later on if you don't hang out as much. Plus with the best of them, it doesn't matter if you bump into them again two or six years from now - you'll still catch up like no time has passed.

2. Don't compare yourself to others

Because comparison leads to discontent and unhappiness. Hence why Facebook makes everyone feel depressed.

3. If you're going to do it, do it well

I should really follow my own advice, especially this one. As I said, this year for me was all about being apathetic; apathetic in my assignments, apathetic in bigger projects I'm undertaking (not that there were many). I realise I need to try harder and become more invested. It's not enough to just turn up and expect that that's half the work done - you really need to  invest some effort and think of the bigger picture.

4. Accept that life is all about the ups and downs

Just because this year was a bit anti-climactic doesn't mean it's set a precedent for coming years (I'm only 21 for god's sake - why am I sounding so jaded??). I'll be travelling next year and studying overseas. Maybe that's why I've been in limbo? Because I know that life will be bigger, better and more colourful next year.

3 comments:

  1. "It was weird in the sense that I felt like I was in limbo the entire time, neither moving forwards towards a definable goal nor slipping backwards into the withdrawn anti-social high-school version of myself. Oftentimes, I'd feel like I was watching myself from a distance - going to work, attending events, interacting with people - just going the motions of Being Cynthia. But it just felt weird and off and forced and I can't explain it." You have managed to describe exactly how I've been feeling for the past 3 years. 3 years is a long time, so I've lost count of how many times I thought I would implode. 2015 has been an exhausting year for me and, like you, I'm pscyched about finally moving overseas. Australia is what has kept me going for these past two years, so the fact that I'll be on Australian soil in less than 4 weeks is insane! I hope 2016 will be a better year for both of us and I hope we both have fun living abroad. It was nice to hear from you, by the way. I've missed reading your posts :)

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  2. Aww thanks Bella! Your comments seriously make my day. I haven't been on blogger for a while (due to being in India these last few weeks) so coming back here to see you're still reading this blog, despite my crappy lack of posts, is so awesome. I realise that you might even be in Australia already! How are you finding it? And which city are you in? I'd love to hear your thoughts on finally making the big move.

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    1. This is actually one of my favourite blogs. Your posts are hilarious, so I always come back for more. I follow you on Instagram, and your photos from India are tempting me to go there asap.

      I ended up moving to Newcastle because studying at UNSW + living in Sydney turned out to be too pricey. The Uni of Newcastle seems like a great place, so I'm happy with my decision. What's odd, though, is that I didn't find it hard to settle in. I felt right at home after only being here for a day, which made the big move SO much easier. I also love how incredibly friendly people are. In Norway it's unlikely that a stranger would start a conversation with you, but here it happens frequently. There is nothing much happening on campus, which is where I live, so I haven't made any friends yet. This has made me feel a bit lonely, but I'm looking forward to this weekend because many students are moving in. I hope I can finally meet people to hangout with and explore the city with (doing it alone is not that fun).

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